Rutabaga Fries

Rutabaga fries are by FAR one of the yummiest things to eat on the Candida diet (or to eat in general). 

Necessary items:
A big freaking knife
A baking sheet
A cutting board (optional)
A flipper thing (some people call it a spatula but I'm pretty sure that's wrong)
Muscles (rutabagas are tough little buggers)

Ingredients:
A rutabaga (more specifically, half of a rutabaga)
Olive oil (You can use coconut oil too, I'm usually just too lazy to melt it)
Curry powder (I highly suggest this, but it's not necessary. Also, get it without MSG.)
Salt (I use Pink Himalayan Sea Salt, whatever kind you've got is fine)
Cayenne (optional)

Serves: 2 people who love eating, 3 people who kind of enjoy it
Time: 20ish minutes

Instructions: Put your oven on broil. Put rutabaga on cutting board and cut it in half with your big freaking knife. (This is where your muscles come in). Preferably, don't watch someone else cut up the rutabaga... you will think they are going to sever a body part.

After the rutabaga is cut in half, place it flat side down and cut off the outer (sometimes waxy) layer. Continue removing the outer layer until the outside is the same color as the inside of the rutabaga.

Now, cut the rutabaga into fry shapes. I prefer to make mine thinner than normal fries because rutabaga can take a while to cook and I usually want to eat as soon as possible.

At this point in time you can cut up the other half of the rutabaga if you're serving more than 2 people. Otherwise, put it in a plastic bag and plop it in the fridge.

Next, place your fries on the baking sheet and pour some olive oil on top of them. I like to mix the fries around with my hands to make sure they are all covered in oil. They don't need to be drowning in it. Just enough to cover them.

Next, wash your hands. 'Cause olive oil is freaking slippery.

Now sprinkle curry powder, salt, and cayenne (if you like it hot) on your fries.

Place fries in oven and cook them until they look done. (I'm so good at being specific). I wish I could give you a more concrete cooking time, but I have used different ovens and they have all taken different amounts of time to cook the fries. Whatever you do, just KEEP AN EYE ON THEM. You don't want to burn your masterpieces. Once the top of the fries look cooked, use the flipper thing to flip them over.

(If you're really looking for specifics, my guess would be to cook them for 5 minutes, flip them, then keep checking every minute or so to see if they are done.)

When fries are done, they'll be a bit softer, kind of like the consistency of French fries. Cooked fries are a little darker in color than raw fries. Feel free to sample a fry or two as they are cooking if you're not sure if they are cooked. If your sample tastes amazing, they are done!

Remove fries from oven (don't forget to shut the oven OFF now. I know you'll be distracted because you'll wanna mau down on the yummyness before you). Put your fries on a plate and NOM!

(The above picture has rutabaga fries AND sweet potato fries AND they are kinda burned AND they are delicious. Note: Sweet potato fries aren't allowed on the strict Candida Diet but are damn good to eat when you start reintroducing new foods!)

Coconut Vanilla CUPCAKES

Sugar-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, Candida-Diet-Friendly  CUPCAKEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Necessary Items:

Large bowl

Hand mixer (if you wanna be more professional) or Spoon (if you are lazy about doing dishes like I am)

Muffin tin

Cupcake liners (optional)

Ingredients:

Dry:

1/2 cup coconut flour

1 tsp baking soda

Dash of salt (I use Himalayan Pink Sea Salt 'cause I'm a fancy mofo)

1/4 cup Truvia® (I make my own using 1 cup erythritol and 1/2 tsp stevia extract powder)

Wet:

2 inch scrape of vanilla bean or 1 tsp vanilla extract 

1/4 cup coconut oil (melted)

1/2 cup coconut milk (I use canned because there are fewer ingredients)

4 eggs

1 tsp apple cider vinegar

Frosting:

Coconut butter/manna

Unsweetened coconut flakes

Makes: 6-8 cupcakes

Time: 40-ish minutes-ish

***This recipe was inspired by the Healy Eats Real recipe found HERE

Instructions:

Preheat your oven to 350°. Place all your dry ingredients in your bowl and mix 'em up. (Picture 1 below)

Now, melt your coconut oil. You can do this in a microwave or on top of the stove in a pan if you live in the middle ages and don't have a microwave like me. After the coconut oil is melted, I usually mix my vanilla bean in with it because I feel like it disperses better that way... otherwise someone just gets a clump of vanilla beans in their cupcake while everyone else gets none. (Sad.) 

Now add all your wet ingredients in with the dry (I usually add the coconut oil last because it has a hissy fit and turns solid if touching the cold eggs in the bowl for too long). If you are using canned coconut milk, make sure it is all mixed up and not separated before you pour it in (again, coconuts are particular creatures).

Mix with mixer until it looks mixed. Or a spoon. Pretty sure I mixed mine with a spoon. (Picture 2)

Spoon batter into a muffin tin, filling each cup about 3/4 the way to the top. I like to use cupcake liners when I bake these, but you can bake naked, liner-free cupcakes if you're feeling frisky. (Picture 3)

Bake the cupcakes for 20-30 minutes. They'll be done when you insert a fork or toothpick in them and it comes out clean (cupcakes will be lightly golden brown). (Picture 4)

When they are done, remove them from the muffin tin and put them on a cooling rack to cool. Once they are all cool (literally and figuratively) you can move onto the FROSTING!

Basically, alls ya gots ta do for the frosting is melt the coconut butter and spread it on top. The coconut butter I get comes in a glass jar, so I put that jar (uncovered) in a pan of water and heat that baby up. (Again, if you have a microwave, you can probably use that.) You don't want the coconut butter to be super drippy (or it'll slide right off the cupcake), just slightly melted so when you spread it around with a knife it looks nice. As you top the cupcakes with the coconut butter, you can sprinkle coconut flakes on top for some extra swanky decoration. Then you are done!

These cupcakes are lightly sweet, not crazy sweet like a normal cupcake, and good for you! They are also wonderful to have around at any event where all your friends are eating sweets or cake or whatever and you are on a diet. Eating food is such a social experience and with these cupcakes you won't feel left out! :)

1.

2.

3.

4.

Super Sue's Stuffing

This stuffing is gluten-free, low-carb, and absolutely INSANE. It tastes so good- it is so satisfying- I don't miss regular stuffing. AT ALL.

(Plus, my mom created it so you know it's gonna be good.)

Necessary Items:
Big skillet with cover
Flipper mover thinger that some people call a spatula
Knife
Cutting board
Baking dish with cover

Ingredients
Olive oil (extra virgin if you have it)
1 onion
2-3 cloves garlic
3-5 sticks celery 
1 head cauliflower (or two 16oz. bags of frozen cauliflower)
3 handfuls of kale
1 apple (my mom likes using Cortland... Omit apple if you're on the Candida Diet or if you want fewer carbs)
Poultry seasoning
Curry
Turmeric
Pepper
1/2 cup or so of water
2 eggs
Sea salt (optional)
Butter to taste (optional)

Instructions:
Put your skillet on medium-ish and add a few tablespoons of olive oil to coat the bottom of the pan. Chop up your onion and add it to the skillet.

Now, you're basically just gonna chop up each item on the ingredient list, in order, and add it to the pan as you go. For example, after the onion, you cut up the garlic and add it to the pan. Then you cut up the celery and add that to the pan, stirring as you go.

After you're done adding the apple (and all the other veggies), it's time to add your spices. Now, my mom is not really the kind of chef that measures anything, so I would suggest shaking your spices just enough so that they lightly cover the heap of vegetables you've got going on. I took a picture of what it looks like so you can kinda see what I mean:

After you are done adding your spices, pour in about 1/2 cup of water and cover the skillet so it'll all steam. Sometimes my mom adds a couple tablespoons of butter at this point, but you could add more olive oil if you prefer.

Once your veggies have cooked for a while, add your eggs and mix it all around. It should look something like deeeez:

After the eggs have cooked with your veggies a bit, you are ready. Ready for what? Ready to stuff your delicious turkey or chicken with this incredible stuffing.

Often, my mom just roasts veggies and chicken thighs in a big pan with a little bit of water and tops it all off with this stuffing before covering it and putting in the oven. And it's amazeballs.

Cooking the stuffing with the chicken/turkey helps it absorb some of that yummy birdy flavor. However, if you're a vegetarian or just want this stuffing straight up, you can put it in a covered baking dish in the oven and roast it at 350° for a while (you may want to add a little more water... also roasting some veggies like rutabaga and cabbage would be good with it). My guess is that it'll take 30-45minutes- maybe longer if you add veggies- but check every 10-15 minutes to make sure nothing's burning.

And there you have it! The most delicious, low-carb, gluten-free stuffing out there. Seriously, all of my friends and family who have tried this love it. My mom said she's gonna keep making stuffing this way, even if she doesn't have to, because it is 100% as satisfying and 100% tummy-friendly.

Now go try this STUFF (pun intended) for yourself! :)

Macadamia Nut Butter

I have a hard time not eating all of this in one sitting.

Necessary Items:
Food processor
Small sealed container or jar (if you can manage to save some of this to eat later)
Spoon

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups Unsalted Dry Roasted Macadamia Nuts (I recommend the Mauna Loa brand. It's in a bag in the baking section at Walmart)
Pinch of Salt (Himalayan Pink Sea Salt, if you're fancy)
1-2 TBSP Coconut oil (Extra virgin) (I won't tell anyone if you use refined)

Servings: 1-3 if you're being honest, 6 servings if you're kidding yourself
Time: 5-10 minutes

Instructions:
Put macadamia nuts and a tablespoon of coconut oil in your food processor and blend/mix/food-process until creamy (you may need to use your spoon to scrape down the sides halfway through). Then add a bit of salt to taste and mix some more. If you want it even creamier, add more coconut oil- a little bit at a time. Feel free to taste test as you go so you can get it just how you like! When done, pour into your container and store in the refrigerator.

I like to eat this straight out of the jar, mainly, but sometimes I'll drizzle it on oatmeal if I'm feeling fancy. Enjoy!

(Above: Oatmeal and Green Apples drizzled with Macadamia Nut Butter and sprinkled with Cinnamon)

Omelette Thingy

I always make a flipping MESS when I try to flip my flipping omelettes. So here's my secret omelette recipe for you- no flipping flipping required!

Necessary items:
A cast iron frying pan (or a frying pan that can go in the oven)
A sharp knife
A cutting board
A small bowl
A fork/whisk
A flipper thinger (spatula???)
An oven mitt (unless you are immune to pain)

Ingredients:
(Author's Note: Please feel free to omit and add any veggies to your liking. It's pretty hard to mess this up. This is my favorite combination of vegetables, but I realize there are crazies out there who DON'T like Brussels sprouts, so I won't be offended if you make this recipe your own!)

For the omelette
1 small onion
3 garlic cloves (medium-sized, not the super duper big ones)
4 Brussels sprouts
A few slices of green pepper (omit if you are in the early stages of the Candida diet)
3-4 asparagus spears
1/2 cup Spinach/Kale
2 eggs
1 TSP chopped basil or basil flakes
Salt (to taste... I like to use Pink Himalayan Sea Salt 'cause I hear it's good for you)
Splash of water
Pinch of cayenne pepper and/or black pepper
Butter or coconut oil (I prefer butter for this recipe, but both are good!)

(Confession: 90% of the time when I make this omelet, I use frozen Brussels sprouts, asparagus, and chopped spinach. Obviously, fresh is best, but frozen is pretty dang good too!)

On the side (optional):
Fresh spinach
Tomato
Avocado

Serves: 1 big eater (AKA: me) or 2 regular people (if you would like to serve more people, just add more eggs)
Time: 20ish minutes

Instructions:
First, put your oven on Broil.

Put your frying pan on the stove over Medium Heat and drop a pad of butter (or a TBSP coconut oil) inside. Chop your onion into small pieces and add to pan. Peel garlic and cut into tiny pieces and add to pan. (If you are using frozen Brussels sprouts, it's a good idea to add them now... they take some time to cook.) Cut your green pepper into small pieces and add that to your pan. Now cut up your asparagus, spinach/kale, and Brussels sprouts and add them to your pan. (If you are using frozen Brussels sprouts, it's a good idea to cut them in quarters once they've cooked some so they'll be more evenly dispersed throughout the omelette.) If things are starting to stick to the pan, feel free to add some more butter or coconut oil to the pan as necessary (I usually do this). Stir veggies around with your flipper thinger as needed. (If you want to see what vegetables in a pan look like, see Picture 1 below)

Now, crack your two eggs into a small bowl and add a splash of water, some basil, and a bit of cayenne pepper and/or black pepper. You can also sprinkle some salt in there now if you wish. I usually like to salt my omelette once it is already cooked but do whatever you'd like! (Picture 2 below)

Now, check and make sure you're not burning your veggies. Move those buggers around with the flipper thinger.

Okay, back to your eggs. Take a fork or whisk and mix those puppies up. Once mixed, pour them into your pan on top of the veggies. The eggs usually disperse themselves pretty evenly throughout the pan thanks to gravity, but if you find yourself stuck with a veggie dam, pick the pan up and tilt it around so the eggs coat the bottom of the pan. (Picture 3 below)

Now wait. After a few minutes you'll be able to see that the bottom of the omelette is cooking. Sometimes I kinda poke the inner side of the pan to see how it is doing. When you see the bottom of the omelette is cooked, but the top is still liquidy, it's time to put it in the oven.

After you put your omelette in the oven, SHUT OFF THE STOVE TOP BURNER. It's an easy step to forget. (I know this from experience. Lots of experience.)

Now, since you're broiling your omelette, you'll want to keep a good eye on it. Broil works its magic fast, so check it at LEAST every minute. (Picture 4 below)

When the top of the omelette is cooked (usually kinda goldeny brown) and has puffed up a bit, it's done! (Picture 5 below)

Pull it out of the oven (make sure you wear your oven mitt!) and SHUT THE OVEN OFF. (I may also have experience forgetting to shut the oven off, if you can't tell.)

Now, I usually like to cut the omelette in half with my flipper thinger and plate it with some fresh veggies (the spinach, tomatoes(!), and avocado I listed earlier) but it is beyond yummy enough to eat on its own. I like to sprinkle some salt on top of my omelette, my boyfriend likes to put salsa on his... just make sure if you are on the Candida diet that your salsa follows the roolz and doesn't contain any preservatives.

Now eat up and enjoy!!!!!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

All done!

Guacamole & Endive Chips

What scoops like a chip, is crunchy like a chip, is satisfying like a chip, but is not a chip?!

ENDIVES!!!

Necessary Items:
A bowl (medium-sized is good)
A sharp knife
A cutting board
A fork or a potato-masher-type object

Ingredients:
A few ripe avocados (I like the big green ones, but the regular small black ones work too)
Garlic
A tomato
Salt
Endives

Serves: 2 big eaters
Time: 10ish minutes

(Author's note: If you already have a guacamole recipe you love, make that, then skip to the "Endive chips" section of this recipe.)

Guacamole:
Cut your avocados in half, scoop the green guts out, and place them in your bowl. (Discard the seeds and the peels.) Cut your garlic up into tiny pieces and add to bowl. Cut up a tomato and add that to your bowl. Add a bit of salt to what you've got going so far and then take out your handy dandy potato-masher and go to town. Mash that guacamole up like you've never mashed guacamole up before. Or maybe mash it like you have mashed guacamole up before. Less mess.

(I realize I wasn't at all exact about the amounts of each ingredient to put in the guac. I suggest you just follow your heart on this one. If it tastes good as you have it, eat it that way. If not, add more stuff. I'm such a helpful blogger.)

Endive chips:
Next, start breaking the leaves off the endives. I like to put them in a bowl of water to kinda wash them off, but you can put them under some cold running water if that's better for you.

Once your endive leaves are washed, dry them off (if you care to) and put them on a plate or bowl to serve with your guacamole. BAM, it's that easy.

Next, take your endive chip, dip it into your guac, scoop up some yummy-ness, and enjoy!